Claiming Pleasure with Malika

Myke has the most wonderful giggle. That's where Lilli & I start. We speak about how he has done the hard and vital work of coming back to himself and choosing joy.
In this Aftercare episode, we unpack what stayed with us from the conversation with Myke: the way he talked about kicking depression in the face every morning, the distinction between what happened, who he is, and of not being believed by people closest to you.
Lilli delves into Nadine Burke Harris's The Deepest Well. A book about the long-term physical effects of childhood trauma, both scientifically rigorous and genuinely readable. Unresolved adrenal spikes can actually do a lot to a body over a lifetime.
We talk about restorative justice, the deep flaws in how the legal system treats survivors, the seesaw between hyper-independence and craving connection and why, if our biological family can't be our tribe, there are other tribes we can connect to.

Myke is an engineer, a quiet economist, a budding DJ, and a man who spent years driving a meat puppet around without ever really being inside it.
We talk about what it means to come back to yourself after childhood trauma and depression. Not in a tidy, linear way, but in the messy, incremental kind of healing way.
We talk about the body holding on and what it takes to get back to ourselves. Forest bathing. Healthy anger expression. Why community is the thing that makes the positive difference. What it looks like to become someone we're proud of, even if we don't always feel safe.
Speaking to men, and all those who've survived child abuse - with honesty reflection and a clarity that has come from doing a lot of self work.
Warm, funny, and open....  Listen out for the IKEA tip.

In this Aftercare episode, Malika and Lilli sit down to unpack the conversation with Sonia Houria-Rivas - starting with a moment of honest self-reflection, then diving into the difference between healing and simply swapping one addiction for another.
They talk candidly about disconnecting from the body as a survival mechanism, why rest still feels like a guilty pleasure for busy people, and what it takes to reclaim something as simple as dancing in public after it's been used against you.
The episode closes with Sonia's guided resonant breathing exercise - a gentle way to calm the nervous system and ground back into the body.

Sonia Houria-Rivas was a high-powered international lawyer who couldn't feel her own body. Not metaphorically... literally.
It took 100 pull-ups, a hospitalisation, and a shaman to begin the journey back.
In this conversation, we explore what it really takes to reconnect with pleasure after trauma: why safety comes first, what our body's yes and no can feel like, and how rest, breath, and radical self-honesty can bring us home to ourself.

In this Aftercare episode, Malika and Lilli settle in to reflect on everything that came up in the conversation with sexological bodyworker Stella Topaz, and there was a lot.
From the genius simplicity of the hand-mapping exercise, to the stories we tell ourselves about our bodies, to what it actually means to acknowledge that you have wants (without needing to fulfil a single one of them) this episode goes deep and warm.
They also talk about coercive control, healthy boundaries, and why learning to say no, and yes, might be the most radical act of self-care there is. 
Plus, Stella returns with a beautiful, compassionate response to two questions that didn't make it into the main episode: what to do when your body responds positively to abuse, and how to gently approach the experience of wanting an orgasm you can't access.
Keep looking for those glimmers, and keep being kind to yourself.

What if pleasure wasn't something you had to earn after you'd done enough healing?
In this episode, I sit down with Stella Topaz - sexological bodyworker, Wheel of Consent teacher, queer mother and grandmother - for one of the most honest, warm, and practical conversations I've had on this podcast.
We talk about desire smuggling (trying to get what you want without actually asking for it), why "consent" has become a legal word when it should be a loving one, and how something as simple as asking for a hand massage a certain way can change everything.
Stella also shares her own experiences of sexual assault and how she kept moving toward pleasure anyway - and what that taught her about survivors, bodies, and the stories we tell ourselves.
This one is for survivors, for practitioners, and for anyone who's ever thought - what do I actually want?

Malika and Lilli Pang reflect on the interview with Francesca, exploring survivor experiences, slow emotional processing, and how busyness and generational attitudes shape responses to abuse.
They discuss forgiveness versus self‑compassion, the pleasures of the body - from food to breastfeeding - grounding practices included in each episode, and the joy of staying present as we age.

I talk with Francesca "Franny" Emerson, a sculptor, author of The Chocolate Bunny, and a spirited storyteller. We explore claiming pleasure as essential living. Topics include food, sensuality, intimacy, body love, aging, forgiveness, and the daily practices that keep joy and play at the center of our lives.
This candid conversation is unfiltered. It talks about sex both amazing and not so. It celebrates self‑trust, creativity, and the pursuit of pleasure in all it's forms.

Welcome to The Claiming Pleasure Podcast with Malika. A warm, gentle space to explore our relationship with play, healing, and our bodies, particularly after sexual abuse.
Malika is a musician, performer, funeral celebrant, mother, survivor, and lifelong lover of games. She shares her journey from disconnection and shame to daily practices of acceptance and appreciation. 
Each episode features honest conversations exploring bodies, play, and recovery through personal stories, reflections, and insights that reveal how pleasure is vital to our well-being.
For those struggling with self-worth or self-criticism, for anyone disconnected from their sense of pleasure and play, for survivors seeking inspiration to ground and reconnect with their bodies and sense of self, this podcast is for you.
Feeling at home in our body is healing. We're all deserving of feeling good.
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